The case of the white mud

"Papa"  he starts,  while still looking down at the toy in his hands.
"Yes" I reply, barely looking at him - I'm driving. But I do put the stereo on mute.
"On a sunny day, when I get a holiday, we should go on a ship "  he looks up at me, while his face breaks into a smile. I guess he's picturing it in his head.

Nischal still doesn't get the concept of days too well. But he gets time of day. So, events are described as on a 'dark day', a 'sunny day', etc. 'Yesterday' and 'Tomorrow' are used, but they are just like 'sunday' or 'monday' - their purpose is to count the days to the coming saturday (holiday).
Once, he found out in March (thanks to a YouTube trailer) about an Iron Man movie.He bugged me literally every day if 'May' was tomorrow, and if we could go see the movie. No thanks to the malls that put up posters well in advance, but I digress.

"Where do you want to go, on the ship?" I ask - wondering if this is one more plea for me to go to the US. I often get woken up from my saturday afternoon naps to go 'right now' to the US to buy some toy he saw on YouTube or Amazon.

"If you go on the ship, you will get to Penguins. I want to go there " he says. There's this disney website called 'Club Penguin' where he & his brother spend a good bit of time playing games. Yes, every player there is a penguin, with a custom set of accessories.

Seeing that 'penguins' doesn't get me jumping in glee, he adds " You also get white mud there".
It takes a couple of moments for me to realize what he's talking about, but I manage to hold back the corrections I have to offer.
I ask instead "White mud? Really ? That sounds interesting!"
His smile widens. "Yes, white mud. But you need to wear caps when you go there"
"Why is that ? "  I ask as I realize scenes on a monitor don't convey the weather.
He pauses a beat before coming up with " Because, the white mud will get into your hair"
"So what if it gets into your hair?", I counter.
He assumes a professorial pose, and takes a deep breath. " Papa, if you get white mud in your hair, you will fall sick. Ok? "
"Oh", I nod vigorously like a light bulb went on in my head. He's pleased with himself.

The next couple of weeks, I'd bored all my polite friends with the 'white mud' story. Then, I hear him point at the TV and say "Papa, that snow looks awesome, no ? "
I barely hide my anguish while I look at his older brother.

"Yes, I taught him. He was going around calling it 'white mud' with my friends too" he says, with a 'I saved the idiot' smile.
My little guy is growing up too fast.

Present Tense talks to Past Tense

Nischal's older brother used to only speak Kannada while he was a child. But that became a problem once he joined day care. The teachers there ended up learning some kannada words so they could understand him. To help him, we parents started speaking more in english. That made him pick up english, but he forgot kannada completely. Even now at the age of 10 he is not able to speak Kannada.
So, with Nischal - we decided we'd just stick to Kannada, and english would come to him on it's own once he joined school.
That was not to be.
He started speaking in english on his own - just listening to us - and now has us also automatically replying to him in english.  The english needs work, but we don't correct him. I enjoy listening to the mistakes too - knowing that they are short lived. I know some of my present & old colleagues will find that hard to believe about me, but it's true. :)
Coming from a more streamlined language like kannada, he doesn't even consider the fact that present-past tense patterns vary for different words.
So, I broke from tradition one day when I corrected him after  "Papa, this Bhaagya (maid) is a bad guy! She waked me up so early in the morning today! "
"Nischal, she 'woke' you up this morning"  I said, "-not 'waked'  "
He looked at me, and smiled.

I couldn't help offering a couple more corrections over the next couple of days, and I was quite getting into the roll of things ( my friends are nodding their heads now).
Then one day, as I was taking off my shoes and putting them away, came another complaint  " Papa! This Anna (his elder brother)! In the birthday party, he drinked all the soda by himself! "
"Nischal, it's  'drank' - not 'drinked' "  I corrected automatically.

He then walked up to me,  and put his hand on my shoulder. I turned to looked at him. Since I was already bent down, we were eye to eye.
"Papa " he says, his face all seriousness, " It's not 'drank'.  'Carry - carried' , 'wait - waited' , 'wake - waked' and  'drink - drinked' ,  Ok ?"
As I scrambled for words; he broke into a slight smile,  turned and walked away with a slight spring in his step. 
Enough was Enough, I suppose.
And yes, those of you(my friends??) that are smiling ear to ear? You can stop now.

One Chapati Dinner

The cook had quit; She wanted to take care of her daughter whose child was due anytime.

For a few days - before we found another cook - Anu would cook. One of the nights, she insisted the kids & their dad sit down on the kitchen floor, and eat fresh chapatis right there as she made them. For those going 'aaaww, sho shweet..', our house chapatis tend to crack teeth if left out for too long.  Yea.. a different kind of 'aaww'.

So, here we were eating the fresh chapatis & curry;  even Nischal was eating eagerly - a very unexpected, but welcome change - when he talks about what happened in class.
"Teacher was asking us all about families"
We adults make encouraging noises, and the older brother continues to eat while in his own zone.

"I told her about Annaa (older brother), pappa, amma ."  Nischal continues.
"You didn't tell her about Ajji (grandmother) ? " asks his brother.
"No, Ajji is not with us here. That's a joint fa-ma-lee" says Nischal.
Now our appropriate noises become more authentic - glad to hear something he'd learnt, and also glad to hear that he'd learnt something.

"But Ajji also is our family, isn't she ? " continued his brother, " she ... "
Nischal interrupted him " No, Anna. We are a new-clear fa-ma-lee!"
Now, both of us adults are smiling and realizing that we aren't totally throwing away our money when we pay his school fees.

The older brother also nodded in grudging appreciation "Nuclear. I didn't know that word until last year (when he pored over wikipedia to sate his fascination for nuclear bombs)".

Nischal goes back to munching on those chapatis - they probably have gotten slightly colder.

One of the sundays..

The wife was out shopping for my niece's birthday present, and I was left with the boys. It was 4 pm, and the little guy said "Papa take me down to play with Anant".
So, we get ready and go down, but Anant isn't around.
"Let's go to his house" he says. I say "you can't just go to somebody's house.. we need to call and find out"
"I know his number" he replies and proceeds to dial the extension. He's promptly greeted by a lady on the other side who tells him there's no Anant there.
I have a million questions on how he came up with that number (he's 4 years old ), but those are interrupted by his next command. "Let's go to his place, and I want to climb the stairs"
Anant's apartment is on the 10th floor, but I agree - my phone has this step counter app, and I never get close to 1000 steps daily let alone the 10,000 steps goal it thinks we need to get everyday. And my 1000 steps include not pausing the step counting while in the car too.
 Anant's dad greets us, and promises to send Anant down with his grandpa in a few minutes. Barely hearing him, Nischal starts taking off his shoes to go in.
Before I too can voice my objection (coz I'll have to put them back on him), he's vaults in .. calling his name.

Anant's mom also promises that she'll send him down after she packs his water, etc. - they're clearly uncomfortable with us standing at their door. Nischal is unfazed. "No problem, we'll wait right here for him" .
They give up.
"Okay, he'll come with you.."  says Anant's dad " .. and his grandpa will be down shortly with his water bottle ."
"You're ok with minding them? " asks Anant's mom .. rightly concerned. I nod nonchalantly.. " sure, no problem"

I have the elevator door open for them before Nischal thinks of skipping down 10 floors.

Living amongst lions, tigers, elephants & snakes

"Here are the lions, and the elephants are that side" said Nischal. I laughed, half at the statement, and half at the baby-talk. Snakes were elsewhere and monkeys owned their own corner too.

No.. this wasn't a visit to the zoo.
This was our apartment complex where we lived: The landscaping is pretty decent, and there are plenty of trees and bushes, but the jungles of Congo - it definitely wasn't.

Let me back up a bit, now that I've confused you just a little bit.
Nischal was around 18 months old then. 
The little always-drunk walker had one problem ( still has). He preferred being carried and would insist upon it with Gowri - his then nanny. Their evening walks would all be in the apartment complex.

She spun wild stories to get him to walk more.
Initially, it was "let's run & catch that butterfly up theere". Sadly, our area have primarily these light yellow colored butterflies.
So, you catch one guy, he's identical to his mother, brother, father and even his distant cousin.

Luckily for her, our visit to the Bannerghatta zoo/safari likely got her more fired up than Nischal.


Soon, Nischal was pointing out to me animals in specific areas in our apartment landscape where an lived. 
The darker corners where she didn't want him going, lived the snakes with big teeth. 
The bushes near our building lobby - where it was hard to lure him back home after playing - hid the lions. 
Pretty much any animal on his iPad zoo that she could pronounce was there somewhere in our apartment complex. 

Each time he mentioned this, I smiled indulgently and nodded in faked appreciation until one day it hit me.
All I saw were manicured bushes, while he every time just missed seeing a jumping lion or a trumpeting tusker.

It must be as wondrous to be in his shoes as it was boring to be in mine!

All for a gun

It was 9pm - time for the older brother to sleep. But he and little guy were fighting over the iPad for the Nth time. And this was after fighting N times over M other items.
Mom had been screaming at the older brother to go to bed. But neither was listening.

So, Dad found the need to finally step in.
"Nishu, go to bed!"
"But papa ..he .. "  he started
"I won't tell you again. I want you to go to bed right now and stay there" Dad said and turned away - not wanting to squabble about more life-and-death issues between a 9 year old and a 3 year old.

So, the older brother walks into the bedroom and gets onto his bed. He then realizes a crucial fact. His toy gun - the one which makes crazy noises and lights up like a christmas tree - was out there in the living room. He realizes that in his little brother's hands those fresh batteries would go dead before the little head hit the pillow for the night.
He calls out - not wanting to violate his dad's orders by coming out -  "Nischal! Can you bring my gun here?"

Nischal notices the gun. And picks it up with a smile.

'Nischal! Can you bring me my gun? Pleeease'  goes the brother.

"What did you say?" asks Nischal innocently.
"I said, can you bring my gun here?" says Nishu even more loudly.

Now - everybody in the apartment - in the far rooms were hearing this conversation. Only Nischal - practically standing outside his brother's room - was apparently not.  

"Sorry annaa ( older brother), I can't hear you" continues Nischal.

This continued for a couple more times before Nishu realized he was being played.

The forbidden drink in the fridge

Like his brother, Nischal also has asthma or asthma-like problems.
He also gets colds easily which turn into wheezing bouts requiring inhalers, nebulizers, etc.

So, his mom keeps a tight control on the cold stuff he eats. Ice creams are a rarity, sodas from the fridge border on extinction.
So, when pizza orders come with the complimentary pepsi bottles, or the occasional kiddie party where we ply his buddies with chips & colas - the left over bottle usually lands up in the fridge, and stays there.
Dad and Mom who are hitting their 40s in both age and hip-size - stay away from them.
So, that makes the fridge an awe-inspiring trove of the forbidden cold-soda for Nischal. He revels in watching the little fizz in his glass, and is immensely tickled by the little sprays on his lips when he gets the occasional sip.
The joy isn't limited to sodas.. but even juices and drinks like gatorade - anything chilled.

Now, mom recently got some gatorade powder that she uses to whip up bottles for his brother's tennis sessions. He's been watching with fascination, but didn't get much further.
So, yesterday night after mom went to bed started the project on dad.

He got hold of a powder sachet and started the be(u)gging. Dad tried ignoring him, but as usual, this one doesn't easily get distracted like the brother. Finally at 11 pm, dad was forced to make the drink, and give him a cup.
But the joy turned to anger when he saw that he could get only a small cup, and the rest was going to the fridge. Dad held steadfast - he had previous  bed-wetting adventures to bolster him.

Morning came, and a new strategy was put into action.

First, there was 'I love you, Papa!', and the hug. Dad was pleased with this rare preference.
And then came  'Papa, see!'  followed by deep breathing.
Last came the pronouncement - 'Papa, I have no cough, and no cold!'
Dad, glancing victoriously at Mom, widened his grin and made all the appreciatory noises. 'Great, Raja! You're  a strong boy!'
With the trap now set, Nischal turns around and runs into the kitchen. The fridge door slams, and out he came with the gatorade bottle and a glass.
Also comes out a sugary sweet smile and sweeter words laced with milk & honey - 'Papa, can I have some? '

As Dad is digging deep in his brain for words,
Mom lets out a sly smile that says 'He knew the idiot to target, didn't he? '